Lick

Good news for anyone under fifty reading this:

You’ve got a lot to look forward to.

Good news for anyone over fifty reading this:

Well done, brothers and sisters.

I don’t know why you’d want to, but if you’re looking for someone who’s afraid of aging, look for someone who didn’t get the memo about points, years and the accrual thereof.

When I was growing up we saved S&H Green Stamps. (So did you, if you’re over fifty). Every time my mom came home from the grocery store, I grabbed the stamps she’d earned with her purchase, ran for the fulfillment book, found a blank page and commenced to lick.

What was more satisfying than a full S&H Green Stamps Book? Each one of them stuffed with hope, history, dreams and the promise of a big pay-off: The moment you pulled your prize off the shelf at the fulfillment center.

But really—and you know where I’m going with this—the pay-off began the day you picked up a blank book. You dug past canned corn to pull strips of stamps from the grocery bag bottom. You looked forward to the stamp’s sicky-sweet taste on your tongue. You slowly filled each book, earning points, saving for one prize, then starting again.

If you know someone who’s afraid of aging, get them a copy of this memo:

You’re born with a blank book. You earn a stamp for every day you live. Your job is to dig, rip, lick & affix until your book is bulging, uneven and gloriously messy. You get extra points for popsicle stains and taped-together covers.

Once you’ve earned 18,250 stamps you may puff your chest and begin to strut, waving your book. Not there yet? Be patient, keep licking.